Greed

I don’t know how I should start. I feel so uneasy. I feel so depressed. Maybe it’s because my world is going to be shaded in black in the next couple of years. The sun won’t be there anymore to give light to it. Everything would just be black. Just the way it was like before.

I’ve been like this since yesterday night. It was the first night after a couple of months that I felt alone. My girl is going to leave for the US to study there. She won’t be back after about 3 to 4 years. I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do. She told me that she wanted to become a nurse and that was her dream. She’s stuck in making a choice. Stay here with me, or go to the US to follow her dream. Her sister is already living there and they’re already petitioning her.

It’s not like she’s the only one stuck in making a choice. I also am. I don’t know if I should support her in following her dream because that’s her happiness or be selfish and make her stay because I can’t live without her. If I choose to let her go, wouldn’t it be painful for both of us? She might start feeling that I can be ok without her, she might think that I can let her go easily. It would be hard for me to let her go. If I choose to tie her up then she might think that her happiness isn’t important to me. That I’m just being selfish and just thinking of myself. I don’t know what I should do.

Maybe I’m just running away by not making a decision. I’m letting her make the decision. Is it wrong? Now I start to realize that maybe it is. I always rely on logic and give my reasons. I give her the reasons on why I want her to stay and why I want her to follow what she wants. I guess it’s wrong to trust your mind and think too much when it’s your heart that would be making the decision in the end. I guess I’m just running away from the decision that I must make.

I feel her drifting away from me even before she must leave. I feel that she wants to cut me off because she doesn’t want to take the emotional burden if she leaves me behind. I don’t want that. I just want her to stay with me. Just stay by my side. Am I being too selfish? Am I asking for too much in wanting her to stay?

I don’t want to follow my mind anymore. I want to follow my heart. Forgive me for this time I’ll be greedy. I want her to stay. I don’t want her to leave me. While writing this, I feel every drop of emotion that I can’t show suddenly spilled out of my glass for everyone to see. I’m in love with her and can’t live without her. She’s my star, she’s my moon, she’s my sun. She’s my everything. To the world she just might be one person, but to one person she just might be the world.

Back to blogging..

Wow.. 5 months without a post. What could’ve possibly happened to me?

Alot. A break-up with my ex-gf, a video game addiction to forget about her, and getting to know a girl that makes my life worth living. So yun nga. Basically kaya ako hindi naka post ng pagkatagal tagal dito. Well usually naman nag ppost lang ako dito kapag wala akong magawa. Or if I wanted to release some of my emotions na nahihirapan talaga ako ipakita sa iba. Recently I’ve been busy. So scratch out mo na yung wala akong magawa kaya ako nag ppost dito. Medyo nagiging emo lang ako. Haay. Pano ba naman. Basta magulo.

Laptop for Sale

So ganito storya. Si Icko may laptop na sobrang luma. Putsa kasing luma na ito siguro ng Ragnarok. Kung uso pa Ragnarok malamang patok to, kaso hindi eh. Kaya ito ngayon naka post sa TipidPC, subukang ibenta kung may bibili. Hindi naman sa sobrang swanget na talaga ng laptop pero talagang luma lang talaga na kung ako lang hindi ako magaaksaya ng pera para bilhin to. Nagagamit pa naman sya. Play ng music, play ng video, pa browse browse, word processing. Pero sa games? Asa pa. Photoshop 7.0 siguro pwede pa. Pero mabagal pa rin yun sigurado. Kung na-interes kayo sa specs eto yun o:

Fujitsu FMV-610MG2
12″ TFT LCD
1.00GHz Celeron
128MB SDRAM (Max 1GB, 512×2)
20GB HDD

Kung interesado man kayo ito yung link dun sa post ko sa TipidPC. Malay ko gusto nyo pala pag aksayahan ng pera. Haha. So ganun yun. Grabe ngayon lang ulit ako naka post. Hayaan mo na. Wala din lang naman ako maisip ilagay dito.

Lola.

Grabe pre. Kanina pagkauwi ko mga 11AM na ata nun, pagkabukas na pagkabukas ko ng gate, alam mo sumalubong sakin? News na patay na si Lola Pulin. Grabe ang bilis talaga ng panahon no. Nasa St. Peter’s na pinapaimbalsa tapos mamaya 12AM for viewing na. Kawawa naman si Lola Pulin. Di ko talaga inakala na she’s going away na pano ba naman ang lakas lakas pa nya these past couple of days eh. At isa pa, dahil sa nangyaring yun, tuloy tuloy na pag rerenovate dito sa bahay. They’ll be splitting the house into two na. One side going to my family, the other to my Tita. Ang mahirap nito wala pa akong savings pang paayos ng bahay. In fact naubos nga pera ko kagabi lang eh. So todo tipid ako the next few months para maging liveable naman yung bahay kahit papano. Ewan ko ba. Siguro pupunta akong bank bukas mag iinquire about sa loan. Bahala na. Dami problema.

Lola. Kung nasan ka man sana masaya ka dyan ngayon. Isa ka po sa pinakamasayahing tao na kilala ko. Naiinis nga ako dati nung si Manang Luling yung nag aalaga sayo dahil ni hindi ka nya naigagalang. Pasensya na po kung napakakonti ng oras ko na naibigay sa inyo. Pero sa bawat pag bisita ko sa inyo, wala hong halong kaplastikan yun. Hindi ho ako bumibisita sa inyo dahil naaawa ako, hindi ho ako bumibisita dahil nauutusan, bumibisita po ako para kamustahin kayo paminsan minsan. Sana po makapagpahinga ka na ng mahimbing kung nasan man po kayo. Ingat po lola.

Puro na lang Ingles..

Ngayon ko lang napansin na lahat pala ng nilalaman ng aking blog ay naisusulat sa wikang Ingles. Subukan ko kaya mag sulat gamit ang ating pambansang wika, Filipino? Tae kahit Filipino na word english pa rin. Pucha hirap pala haha. Haha tangina salitang kanto na nga lang puta. Wala lang ang kulit kasi nung isa kong nabasang blog. Tarantado yung nagsulat halos mamatay ako kakatawa poser na poser yung putanginang orc na yun eh gago rin naman ang puta haha. Comedy pare. Putangina nya. Pag nakita ko talaga yun sa personal sarap upakan ng walang hiya. Anyway review ko ngayong linggo? Wala puta. Ni hindi nga ako makapanood ng kung ano ano eh pano walang oras. Kung gano kinadami ng oras ko couple of months ago ganun din yung nawala sakin ngayon. Pucha pag uwi ko kung ano ano lang gagawin. Tapos tulog. Tapos gising. Tapos kain. Tapos ligo. Tapos punta sa trabaho. Tangina no? Loser na loser amputa. May DVD pa nga ako ng 21 dyan sa bag ni hindi ko mapanood eh. Pano kagabi mga 2AM na ako nakawui. Nagkayayaang mag videoke sa may Greenhills kasi. Punta kami dun afterwork sila uminom. Ako nag dinner. Mga ungas. Salamat sa pag ambag sa dinner ko ha? Haha. Sarap kumain pag libre. Oo hindi ako uminom. Nag dinner lang tapos nag internet tapos umuwi. Kaya lang ako sumama kasi may wifi dun sa ininuman nila haha. E sakto na release na yung Bleach at Naruto kahapon. Leche Ane Doki na lang hihintayin ko dito next week. Grabe ang dumi pala ng bibig ko kung spontaneous lang yung pagsusulat ko no? Makabili nga ng perla sa kanto ng makapaghugas ng bibig. Ay puta wag pala. Umuulan. Dyahe yun wala akong payong. Mamaya na lang. Tangina naman kasi tong bagyo na to eh. Dadaan daan pa. Dapat malamig at mahangin lang wag na magdala ng tubig na binubuhos satin. Ang sipag kasi ng mga gago eh no? Pupunta na nga lang ng Pinas magdadala pa ng ulan eh pwede namang hangin na lang. Puta. Grabe ang kulit pa. Mamaya family dinner namin. Tae kasi dapat sinabi sakin mga 2 days ago. Kahapon ko lang sinet yung lakad ko mamaya eh. Ayoko icancel pucha. Tangina nalimutan ko birthday pa pala nung kawork ko na MILF. Tangina kasi ang layo lang kaya tinatamad ako pumunta. Bahala ka jan sa Las Pinas puta. Malamang after nun pupunta pa ng Roxas yung iba kong ka work. Mga manyakis yun eh. Haay pucha sa susunod na lang ulit ako mag ppost tapos na yung kinokopya ko sa HDD ko. Ayusin ko muna files ko para makapagbackup puta.

K-on!

If you like music, retardedness and moe moe kyun, I got the perfect watch for you. Try watching K-On. Finished it a couple of weeks ago but never really had the time to make a review for it. I didn’t read the manga so I’m not really sure on what plots are missing but nonetheless, the series itself was very entertaining.

Aya Hirano acts Haruhi Suzumiya

I don’t think it needs more desu.. I mean explaining.

Aya Hirano

Dammit. So cute. I think I’m in love.

Ane Doki

One of my favorite mangakas is Mizuki Kawashita. She was the one who created Ichigo 100% and Hatsukoi Limited. I finally get to read the first chapter of her latest mangas, Ane Doki.  The first chapter of this manga exceeded my expectations. You can already see what kind of potential this mangas has just by reading the first chapter. I don’t want to spoil you guys so just try to take a quick look at it. You might want to try http://www.onemanga.com if you don’t have access to Weekly Shounen Jump or if you’d like to read it in english.

Clannad!

Clannad’s ending seems to be a little bit confusing for everyone who have watched the anime but haven’t played the game. You see, in the game, the ending that you get after first playing it ends where Ushio dies. However, you’ll have an option of replaying the game after that point and you’ll have an option to save Nagisa while giving birth to Ushio. That’s because by then you would have all the light orbs that you need to grant your wish. Remember how in the entire series you get to see all those light orbs? Remember when Misae’s cat explained that it can grant a wish? Well that’s Okazaki’s wish. He gets to save Nagisa. You can’t complete the orbs though when you first play the game because you won’t get several light orbs unless Nagisa dies. Like the light orb from Tomoya’s dad. I guess this should explain how they came up with that ending of having a rewind. Perhaps that’s the only plausible option that the producers saw to add both endings in one anime. Although the idea was wonderful, the lack of explanation makes it confusing for people who haven’t played Clannad.

Anyway let’s get on with the review. Clannad is a good slice of life/drama anime. If you’re tired of the cliche high school life animes, you might want to watch this. And maybe perhaps if you’re a delinquent, hopefully it changes the way how you see life and your future after watching this. The entire story takes place for several years. From going to high school up to raising your own kid. Well, actually if you look at the entire story and not just from Tomoya’s perspective, it spans from being a kid up to being an old geezer. It’s unique in the sense that even though there are exaggerations in the anime, if you read between the lines, things that happen in the series do happen in real life as well. It touched me because personally, I didn’t have that kind of way of looking at life. I only look at the present, don’t give a damn about the future and rarely remember the past. If you’re like me who doesn’t think about where you’d be 10 or 20 years from now, I promise you that after watching this series you’ll be thinking your decisions more thoroughly. Good animes are everywhere. But animes that touch your life and your emotions so deeply are rare. Even if you’re not a fan of animes, I’d recommend you watching this. If there’s one anime I’d recommend to anyone even if I don’t know what their interests are, it’d be Clannad. It can easily touch you. Unlike animes like Evangelion or Gurren Lagann, this one doesn’t pick out your interests. It’s pretty much for everybody.

I actually finished this review probably about a month or two ago but I really wanted to watch the Kyou Chapter before I post this. I just finished watching it less than 10 minutes ago. I think Perfect Blue was the first one to sub it if I’m not mistaken. For the 2 alternate stories that this series had, I think the Kyou chapter is better than the Tomoyo chapter (they’re still both good). When I was watching the series, I never really liked Nagisa as the lead because she’s too perfect except for her health. I was wishing there’d be a Kyou chapter to begin with. It was just aired in Japan last week. In my opinion, I think this episode is the best one for Clannad. Or maybe I just find it amusing because I really like Kyou.. Oh well.